In a nicely decorated living room, while parents sit and talk and a boy listens, will he tell them that he has seen a girl and she’s so good looking that he wants to have sex with her? Of course, no. He’ll sit there quietly, without a word.
Most parents who catch their children watching porn tell them not to watch, not because it disrespects women, but because it is “bad.” And that’s exactly where a locker room chat starts. It starts from there.
The boy,then, enters worlds where slangs consists of “mother fucker” and “sister fucker,” making sure its women being fucked every damn time. It enters the world of songs like “Tu cheez badi hai mast mast” and “Silcon waali Ladkiyan.” He then is in middle school and sees in assembly girls being punished for short skirts, short socks and in some schools- for wearing the kind of bra they choose. On the other hand, he gets away with all the objectifying he wishes to do, without a punishment. A locker room talk starts there.
It starts when his girlfriend says ‘no’ and he asks her three more times and gets a ‘yes.’ It starts when him dating a girl with flat chest, makes him less of a ‘dude.’ It starts when he can stay out in his college days for as long as he wants, while his sister can’t. It starts with every look he gives on a girl passing by, and gets away with it.
A boys locker room talk isn’t just an Instagram account. It is there in your mother’s cautiousness, in your father’s ego, in your brother’s unquestioned freedom, in your sister’s obsession with her perfect body. It is in the girl who thinks her breasts, not her character, are a way to get guys like her. It is the boy who thinks getting consent once, is getting consent forever.
It is all of us, who make an equal contribution to this chat. And, it is all of us who have the power to make the change happen. So don’t just read this, live this.
And remember, a boys locker room talk starts from his home.